Turbo's 4 Rules for a Happy Marriage

Ok, so like I learned that the secret behind the happiest marriages is for the male to follow these 4 simple rules:

1. Speak only when spoken too;
2. Never offer an opinion (unless it's to tell her how good she looks);
3. Never ever critique; and the newest rule
4. Never watch while she's getting ready to go out!

All in all pretty simple rules to follow and they seem to work pretty well - at least that's what my owner tells me. Cus' he's pretty smart and always gives me the straight poop. 

Anyway, I find it works in my relationships so I thought I'd pass this advice along to you poor souls trying to figure it all out.

That's all for today............yes dear!.....of course dear!.......you're right dear!......thank you dear!......

T is leaving the building.

Filthmeister!

What a slabone! Do you believe this? Of all the days for my owner to show up and look at me.. No wonder he just turned around and walked the other way.

Anyway, he finally came back and took me out of the horseie play pen and marched me back to the barn where he proceeded to clean me up. Took him at least an hour to get all this crud off me....I didn't know he knew words like that.

So, now I'm all cleaned up....again...just waitin' for some more rain and mud so we can do it all over again. Ya see, ain't no fun to ride a filthy horse so that's why I like the rain....hee hee.

Actually, my hooves been way to dirty to work a keyboard so that's why you ain't heard from me in a while. But now that I'm cleaned up a bit, guess I can get back to tellin' my story. Hey, like what happened to All My Kiddies? That was a great soap....all the horses liked it.....sucked the way it ended. Oh well.

T....lookin' for a new soap.

Out!

New Home

Dam! Can't believe my owner was really serious 'bout movin' me to another farm if I kept actin' up. Wow!

Now I gotta start all over 'gain makin' a place for me in the new hood. And you thought my peeps in my old neighborhood was bad. Mr. T is in a whole new world now babies.

Good news is there's lots of room to run and crap so now I can get's away faster 'cus some of the older horses can't run fast very long. So's if I can get a head start I can usually stay safe. Course I gotta come back sometimes but 'cus they're old they usually don't remember they was mad at me or why any way.

So there you have it. My owner finally followed through on his threats to move my ass (get it....horse's ass) so now I'm learnin' stuff from a whole new set of hoodlems.

Stay Frosty!

Mr. T....out!

I'm Back!

Dudes! Like it's me back from the equine abyss....

I know, I know it's been a long time and a lot of water passed under the dam man but who cares T has returned!

Haven't talked to ya'll since last year when I had the 'bout with rain rot..Never did figure that one out. Maybe I was messin' with the wrong philly. Who knows, who cares?

So like the I'm not depressed any more and my owner moved me to a new neighborhood. It's kind o' cool 'cus there ain't much mud....yet. But you know what 20 horses will do to a nice field of grass. Anyway, it seems like a nice place with tons of grass to eat.

Oh yeah, had a birthday a couple months back and that went off without a hitch...get it hitch.....that's a joke. Anyway, it went off without a hitch 'cus there weren't no party, no cake, no card, no nothin'. It's all good though....it's all good.

T's ottta here.....gotta take my pills ya know.

The Heartbreak of Rain Rot!

I was wonderin' why none of my peeps were hangin' with me again, then I heard my owner tellin' someone I got "Rain Rot!" What the hay? Are you freakin' kidding me?

Actually, I don't know what it is, but it can't be too good 'cus he's been sprayin' stuff and pickin' hair off me for days now and it hurts like a ..... well it just hurts. And yesterday he stopped by a sprayed me with some mouthwash stuff and now I stink like a medicine cabinet.

Dam, last year it was my hoof and the year before warts on my muzzle.......I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!! Oh yeah, horses don't go to the bathroom....we just go wherever we want....don't have to worry 'bout puttin' the seat down either.

Anyway, like it's time for me to move to a dryer climate 'cus all this rain is just rotting my coat...I thought only wood could rot in the rain......should'a paid more attention in chemistry class, or listened to my mom.

Sure, if my friends could see me now.......Yuk!

t - gone

I'm Startin' A Union!

Dudes, like it's time to form a horsey union. Just look at the working conditions we have to put up with! I mean why should we have to wear all this stuff just so some human can have fun makin' us do all the hard work and for what?!! A lousy cube of sugar, a few carrots, maybe an apple once in a while is all we get for the effort. Wha's that all about anyway? Dam, like how 'bout a minimum riding time, or some kind of slidin' scale if I have to work 'specially hard carryin' Mr. Fatso around in ruff stuff? I mean like how 'bout some better treats or maybe install one of those beer meister thingies with a pizza delivered once or twice a week. Don't sound like a lot to ask for.....

Anyway, this whole thing flared up late today 'cus my owner stops by 'round 6:00 and wants to go ridin'. Yo, genius, like the sun is settin' dude and I'm off the clock. Ain't my fault you didn't come by earlier. That didn't get me anywhere so I ended up haulin' his old butt around the park risking life and limb so's he can decompress from a hard day at work....like I didn't have a ruff day myself. You wouldn't believe what my schedule looks like.

Well, don't do no good to bitch 'bout it 'cus nobody listens anyway. But you get the issues here right? Good. So now I can rest easy knowing that.

What ever happened to that Hoffa dude anyway?

Ciao babies......T

Yeah Yeah I Cleaned Up the Photo!

So, like what were you lookin' at Sparky? Here's a news flash, in case you don't know 'bout horses. This happens when we're relaxed. That's all there is to it. Nothin' to get excited 'bout - nothin'.

Oh yeah, if I have to pass water the same thing happens but most the time it's just 'cus I'm feelin' good. Got it? Great! Let's move on to somethin' else like the fact that you guys ain't writin' to me no more.

I'm feelin' a little down this week 'cus winter is on the way and that means it gets cold and muddy and crap. To stay warm I gotta huddle with the herd and some of those guys stink...nothin' personal but dudes can you take a bath once a year or somethin?

The good news is that I grow my own winter coat and that's already comin' in. But now I'm hot all the time 'cus we're havin' an indian summer whatever that means. So like I'm grouchy and cranky all the time and my owner is talkin' stuff about giving me midol. Don't know what that is but the mares fell over laffin' when I mentioned it.

Ok, I'm outta here 'cus the sun is goin' down early and I can't see the keyboard to good. Dam, I am grouchy, even I don't like me.

Maybe I'll be feelin' better in 28 days......

T.....Ciao